it's finally hitting home

We read the news. We watch CNN. We listen to NPR. We hear of what is going on in the world, the increasingly bad news over our global economy, the terrible state of all our industries- banking, auto, health care... We pride ourselves in our awareness.

And yet, we've managed to stay safe and secure in our middle-class bubble, not really feeling any effects of any real hardship. Sure, our wallets got a little tighter when gas prices soared and trips to the grocery store almost doubled in price. We simply got stricter with our budget and started socking more away into savings- you know, just in case.

But things are changing now. The flailing economy has finally hit home- our home. I was informed at the beginning of this month that I have until February 1st to learn whether or not I will be laid off from my current job. My job, as a nurse! Up to 200 from our hospital will be let go. We have learned through huge town hall seminars and nursing open forums that our cancer center is struggling big time. Because of the troubled economy, we've lost almost 40% of the center's endowments, and because of the going-downhill-fast health care market, we are no longer receiving money-making reimbursements for things like chemo and radiation. As of Jnauary, all employees no longer receive retirement benefits. And most of what I did have in my aggressive TIAA-CREF account has dwindled away. I lost a bunch of other stuff too, things that will also hurt, but my main concern now is my job security.

It's scary. This came out of the blue and was a real shock for me. I'm nervous and very anxious for February 1st to come and go. I'm nervous when I hear economists talk of how much worse it will become. I'm nervous to see this humungous stimulus package being rushed through Congress when almost half of our representatives don't believe in it. I feel foolish to say it, but I never thought it would strike me. I love what I do, and I provide a vital service. How could my job be in jeopardy?

However, the New Year has also ushered in so much promise for us. Watching the inauguration of our 44th president was a truly hope-giving experience. Barack Obama may not solve any of our problems or my problems, but he will be a transformational leader for us when we need real transformation. His journey to becoming our President has already set the bar for our future leaders so much higher- right down to campaign standards. And his textbook speaking and leadership style are so refreshing in a time when what we'd gotten used to is what eventually became almost completely ineffective leadership. If nothing else, he makes me feel hopeful that things can get better. And if my job has taught me nothing else, its never to underestimate the power of hope.

No matter what happens, there is much to look forward to this year. My mother might be moving close by soon. (And no matter what Bill says, that's a good thing!) This year, we will finally begin the process of buying our first home! We are planning two family getaways, one with plenty of sun on a beach we've never seen before and one snow-covered escape to the mountains. Braden is taking his first swim class (and I must brag, he's already shaping up to be a mini-Phelps). We became aunt & uncle again to a beautiful baby girl named Carissa. I am nervous about what may lie ahead, but also very focused on all the amazing blessings around me.

Wish me-us- luck!